Ok, your Mom would probably like it. Unless she is a crackhead or hobo. Hobos definitely get riled up about this cartoon. I showed it to some local gentlemen in a box car on the other side of the tracks, and they threw their pork and beans at me, and chased me half way home! Hobos are fast!
Lately, it seems the writing staff here at Neurotico can only write jokes about toots. Looks like I am going to have to put them back on a straight bread and water diet, and chain them to their desks again! Let them out in the sun for ten minutes a month, and they lose their focus…
My daughter and I like to come up with wacky story lines for any and all of her toys. Woody from Toy Story is married to Flower Bunny from Build a Bear, and heads up the “Woody Family.” He had to marry a rabbit, because he is the only male character she owns. Anyway, Flower Bunny decides to divorce Woody, and travel the world. One of their adopted children gets sick, and Dr. Delicia(a 45 year old homemade doll) has to come over to pump her stomach. She had been eating rat poison. While treating the child, a baby falls out from Delicia’s dress onto the floor. The baby is fully clothed, and claims to be Woody and Delicia’s love child. The baby is really a 40 year old hermaphrodite midget with a baby face. The baby wants to steal the 15 trillion dollars worth of gold and silver coins in the basement. She gets busted and serves a day in jail, before being rehabilitated and welcomed into the Woody family. Now, she enjoys her favorite hobby-hair sculpture. She let her eyebrows grow into a unibrow, and got extensions so that they reach around to her chin. She then grew her mustache so long that she ties it into her belly button ring. She even went so far as to have hair transplants put in her eyes! After coming up with this story my daughter and I took a picture of Baby Faced Malone, and did a fine illustration for you all. Should I get the parenting award of the year for our activities, or get a visit from child protective services? You be the judge!
ComicCon itself was rather uneventful this year. Outside the Con, on the streets was another story! Poor crybaby was first assaulted by a hellfire and brimstone lady preacher on a soapbox. He accepted a religious tract, and kept going, thinking he was in the clear. He could not have been more wrong! Half a block later, he was accosted by four gangster rap artists, that started cramming home burned music cd’s into his hands. He usually cries when listening to hip hop, but what the heck, the discs were free promo discs, right? No! They started demanding a twenty dollar “donation” for each disc. Things started to get ugly, but he managed to escape with only two discs, after paying ten bucks tribute money. Shaking and sweating, he managed to make it to his car and get in. Then some urban yoot in hundred dollar jeans, that looked like he had smoke a Texas sized crack rock, started making strange hand signals at him. He thought they meant, “give me some money for bus fare,” or something like that. Unfortunately, he kept signaling faster, and getting angrier. Crybaby did his best Starsky and Hutch imitation, and threw the car into reverse and narrowly escapes certain death! There are no pictures of the incidents, but luckily, Pepe Longstockings, world famous court reporter artist, was present and kindly did this drawing to illustrate the horrors of downtown Dallas…
My friend’s, cousin’s, coworker took a surprise pic of his wife, but the joke was on him! This unretouched photo has a ghost face on the blanket. When he saw it, he had a nervous breakdown, and became a Hare Krishna. It gives me the chills!
The lovely employees of Neurotico can’t afford any fancy smancy therapy, so they come up with stuff like this. I asked them to come up with a cartoon about the mean stuff husbands say to their wives, but they just downed a bottle of vodka, huffed some model glue and threw up. It is so hard to find good employees these days!
Ok, saying that I am going to give a “lecture” is kinda a stretch. More like I am going to talk about my artwork, and answer questions while I twitch and forget who I am. Anyway, I found this while putting together my presentation and thought I would share it with you.
I got a wild hair and decided to repair and update this art from nine years ago. Her eyes looked like Quasimodo’s and her breasts looked like someone had sprayed them with silly string. Hence the update! Do you like her better with glasses or without?