Merry Neurotic Christmas!

Merry Christmas peeps! I hope that this post finds you all well, and ready for a great 2017.

Each year, I take a silly pop artist’s album cover and make a twisted version of it, with yours truly instead of of some semi-naked chick. I fell in love with the artwork from a Grimes album this year, and had to do a parody of it. I hope you all enjoy the sexiness! This is EXACTLY what I looked like last night, as I waited for Santa to bring me lots of Star Trek stuff…

 

c-2016-art

A Cartoon to Insult Your Sensitivies and Make Your Mother Scream

Ok, your Mom would probably like it. Unless she is a crackhead or hobo. Hobos definitely get riled up about this cartoon. I showed it to some local gentlemen in a box car on the other side of the tracks, and they threw their pork and beans at me, and chased me half way home! Hobos are fast!

Neurotico Punks Parenting

 

Star Wars, Star Wars Everywhere!

Have you purchased the new movie on blue-ray? Got your Star Wars toothpaste? Underwear? Oranges? The list of Star Wars products is endless! Maybe, you can pick up these as well…

Neurotico 132 Star Wars Products

 

Fantastic Fart!

Lately, it seems the writing staff here at Neurotico can only write jokes about toots. Looks like I am going to have to put them back on a straight bread and water diet, and chain them to their desks again! Let them out in the sun for ten minutes a month, and they lose their focus…

Panel 130 Fantastic Fart

 

The Duke’s General Lee Gets a Yankee Makeover

The Duke boys just realized that they were offensive hayseeds, and asked for the help of a bunch of carpetbagging northerners to come up with a PC look for their beloved car. Take a look…

Dukes-of-Hazzard Car2 CHI Dukes-of-Hazzard Car2Commie Dukes-of-Hazzard CarUN

Crybaby’s Uncle Dwayne

is a nice guy until he gets behind the wheel! Than he needs serious anger management!

This cartoon is dedicated to my friend J.D. Bergner, that died a week ago of aplastic anemia. He, unlike Dwayne here, was a man of exceptional character-a good, kind man, that I am proud to have called a friend. We created a silly skit featuring Punk Pete and the Punkwheats in high school. I look forward to doing that silly dance again, in heaven, when we meet again…

Panel 126 Bastard On Board

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Dallas ComicCon is this Saturday. Do I want to go alone this year? Possibly get trampled by a flock of cosplay geeks? Get squished by the autograph seeking hoards? Get mauled by children in Darth Maul costumes? Get washed downstream in a Dallas flash flood? Get asphyxiated on a $20 hot dog? Get rolled by rival cartoon gangs? Ah, who am I kidding-of course I have to go!

stomping crybaby head_1

Let Loose the Harpies of War!

The lovely employees of Neurotico can’t afford any fancy smancy therapy, so they come up with stuff like this. I asked them to come up with a cartoon about the mean stuff husbands say to their wives, but they just downed a bottle of vodka, huffed some model glue and threw up. It is so hard to find good employees these days!

P125 First Date Harpy

No Jokes For You!

Greetings All! I have finished a month working on-site on a top secret project. I was locked in a clean room with no cell phones or internet connection. I haven’t had time to work on cartoons, or even write any. In fact, the whole time I was voyaging to downtown Dallas on a daily basis, I didn’t think of a single funny idea. Downtown Dallas is not funny. Not one bit. Not a thing about it amusing. It took between 45 minutes and two hours to get to work each day. Once there, a primal battle for expensive parking spaces ensued. Then, at lunch time, I had to walk the gauntlet of hobos to get lunch. Never before has walking to get a tasteless Subway sandwich been so dangerous! The project and the people I worked with were the bright point of the last month. They were all great. Downtown Dallas, not so much.

Speaking of things that are really, really, not funny, I had to shop at the Waaaalllll-maht yesterday for hair gel. I always smell the gel (I made a rhyme!) to make sure that I don’t get something that smells like old lady or hooker’s perfume. I opened the lid and gently squeezed the bottle to get the scent to waft to my eager nostrils. Unfortunately, a giant blob of gel shot up my nose! Ugg! I guess the experience wasn’t too bad, because I bought the product.

Hope you all are doing well, and hope to have new goodness for you soon!

 

wacky kirk