Secret Identity Compromised!

Darn the NSA! They finally figured out that, I am, indeed, Jasper Jowels from Chuck E. Cheese’s! Now I will have to go into the witness protection program!

 

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It’s the Season When a Young Man’s Fancy…

turns to sheer panic! November and December are terrible for freelance artists, since work dries up when everyone turns their attention to surviving their aunt’s 10 year old fruitcake, and fights over politics with family members. I would sell my sperm for cash, but no one wants middle aged sperm with kinked up tails that swim in circles. As it is, I survive the winter months on my fat reserves, iron will, and frenzied portfolio work. Here is one of the layouts I have created. Which do you like best?

You Wouldn’t Hit A Mutant With Glasses Would Ya?

I got a wild hair and decided to repair and update this art from nine years ago. Her eyes looked like Quasimodo’s and her breasts looked like someone had sprayed them with silly string. Hence the update! Do you like her better with glasses or without?

The Strange Case of Mr. Doofus and The Business Man

Saturday was a fun day, but a beating! Spent most of the day at Dallas Comiccon Fan Days in Irving, then drove into Dallas for a book signing. Only gallons of coffee and soft drinks kept my old carcass from having a fit of narcolepsy. In my caffeine induced stupor, I thought it would be fun to take selfies in public restrooms like teenage girls, strippers and hog farmers. I think I was actually more comfortable in the paper mache head, than the 15 year old suit pants. At least the cartoon outfit pants didn’t pinch my muffin top so much that I thought that I was going to pass out! And they were purposely high water pants…

Crybaby Meets Darth Vader and…

winds up dead! What else could happen? Crybaby is very annoying with his constant whining, and perpetual gas. Vader has enough problems breathing without having to have his respirator filter out farts!

 

Guest Cartoonist Emma

 

In the tradition of Billy doing cartoons in The Family Circus, my daughter is guest cartoonist today. I don’t remember Billy being this mean to his Daddy though…

 

 

 

All I wanted was a nice Kiwi fruit…

 

and my goofy mind ran screaming through the gutter and created this cartoon! I hope you enjoy the sexiness…

Crybaby has Lunch With Zombie Hag

This zombie was nice enough to have lunch with me. She kinda creeped me out when she said that she couldn’t figure out where to bite me though. Looks like that wearing a silly paper mache head confuses them to that they won’t take a chomp out of your flesh! Remember that when the zombie apocalypse comes. Forget about knives and guns-start tearing your newspapers, and mixing your flour paste for a goofy mask!

Zombies, Zombies, Everywhere!

Everywhere we looked at ComicCon, there were Zombies! Did we miss something? Are zombies popular now?

Crybaby Taking a Lunch Break

Wandering around ComicCon for hours can really work up a serious hunger! Luckily for him, there were plenty of unclaimed, undead snacks lying around. He said they tasted like chicken!