Star Trek 50th Anniversary Comic

Ok, I lied, I didn’t do this for the 50 anniversary, but thought I would share it anyway!  Shout out to all of the poor redshirts out there in the Star Trek universe…

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Return of the Undead Comic

Here is another 25 year old comic that I unearthed. There are so many odd things happening in this image that I am not sure where to start! For one thing, why am I not using my real name? Second, why are there two cartoon characters I created when I was a kid trying to explain the joke? Third, would anyone but an old Okie understand the “so hungry that my stomach thinks my throats been cut” reference? Fourth, why does one of the scientists look like the songwriter from the band Yello? Fifth, who is the tiny guy up in the corner with the bow tie? So many questions-so little time!

 

 

A Cartoon to Insult Your Sensitivies and Make Your Mother Scream

Ok, your Mom would probably like it. Unless she is a crackhead or hobo. Hobos definitely get riled up about this cartoon. I showed it to some local gentlemen in a box car on the other side of the tracks, and they threw their pork and beans at me, and chased me half way home! Hobos are fast!

 

Star Wars, Star Wars Everywhere!

Have you purchased the new movie on blue-ray? Got your Star Wars toothpaste? Underwear? Oranges? The list of Star Wars products is endless! Maybe, you can pick up these as well…

 

Happy Halloween! Wait-what?

It’s not Halloween? It was last week? Rats! Late again! I don’t want to wait another year to show the Headless Crybaby, so here it is-a week late, or fifty-one weeks early…

Fantastic Fart!

Lately, it seems the writing staff here at Neurotico can only write jokes about toots. Looks like I am going to have to put them back on a straight bread and water diet, and chain them to their desks again! Let them out in the sun for ten minutes a month, and they lose their focus…

 

Parenting Award Of The Year

My daughter and I like to come up with wacky story lines for any and all of her toys. Woody from Toy Story is married to Flower Bunny from Build a Bear, and heads up the “Woody Family.” He had to marry a rabbit, because he is the only male character she owns. Anyway, Flower Bunny decides to divorce Woody, and travel the world. One of their adopted children gets sick, and Dr. Delicia(a 45 year old homemade doll) has to come over to pump her stomach. She had been eating rat poison. While treating the child, a baby falls out from Delicia’s dress onto the floor. The baby is fully clothed, and claims to be Woody and Delicia’s love child. The baby is really a 40 year old hermaphrodite midget with a baby face. The baby wants to steal the 15 trillion dollars worth of gold and silver coins in the basement. She gets busted and serves a day in jail, before being rehabilitated and welcomed into the Woody family. Now, she enjoys her favorite hobby-hair sculpture. She let her eyebrows grow into a unibrow, and got extensions so that they reach around to her chin. She then grew her mustache so long that she ties it into her belly button ring. She even went so far as to have hair transplants put in her eyes! After coming up with this story my daughter and I took a picture of Baby Faced Malone, and did a fine illustration for you all. Should I get the parenting award of the year for our activities, or get a visit from child protective services? You be the judge!

No Virgin Mary Statues Were Harmed Making This Cartoon…

but her owner may need to see a doctor! Hope this doesn’t anger my Catholic friends…

The Duke’s General Lee Gets a Yankee Makeover

The Duke boys just realized that they were offensive hayseeds, and asked for the help of a bunch of carpetbagging northerners to come up with a PC look for their beloved car. Take a look…

Please Pardon Me While My Brain Toots

After I posted the Spider-man cover yesterday, I realized that only the biggest comic geeks would understand where the base artwork for my parody came from. On the right below is the original comic cover from over one million years ago. I always thought it was funny that Spidy was telling the crook what his secret identity was! Also, the people on the roof look like they are dancing, so I had them do the YMCA letters. Please pardon me for making a parody of something that 99% of people have never seen! Confusius say, “Man who make cartoon about stuff no one understands, is hungry cartoonist!”